Critical Care Reflection

 Question One + Question Four Combined

Choosing to pursue a profession in health care comes with many rewards as well as challenges. Nursing is one of those professions that is so gratifying but at times very internally challenging and draining. Along with being able to help people, comes times where the healthcare team needs to face their patient’s deaths. Reading the book, Critical Care, by Theresa Brown has opened up my eyes for what is to come. In chapter three, she wrote about her first death that she experienced in orientation as a new nurse. This death stood out to me the most because that could be something I also experience in my first year of nursing. At the bottom of page 28, she describes her patient Mary and her husband Al so vividly even though she wrote this book a lot later in time. That descriptive paragraph showed me right off the bat that she was not exaggerating when she said that anyone in health care always remembers their first death.

As a new nurse you can only do so much to help the patient, so it is important to know what other impacts you could make. On page 31, Theresa noticed Mary’s husband Al sitting alone in the corner looking very miserable and stressed out. It surprised me that none of the other people on the health care team had made sure he was okay or tried in any way to comfort him when we have been learning that the patients’ family needs attention too. All Theresa did was look over at Al and gave him a comforting smile and in that moment, it seemed to ease his pain just a little. Theresa then realized that she “had something to contribute after all.” The way Theresa was handling the family in this situation and doing all she could with the restrictions of being a new nurse was also the most memorable and meaningful part of the book for me. Theresa had been dealing with Mary’s family a lot in an empathetic and caring way without even thinking about it and realizing how much of an impact she was making on them. Toward the end of the chapter, people in Mary’s family were coming up to her, giving her hugs, and even thanking her. That made me realize that even if I cannot help the patient as much as I want, I can always help the family and still make a lasting impact.

I am dreading the day that I have to experience my patient’s deaths, but I do understand that it is a part of life and that it is bound to happen. Reading how Theresa handled her first death helps me to prepare myself for what is to come, and to make sure I think about that person’s family just as much. This is meaningful to me because as I was reading I was putting myself in the family’s shoes. When my family has dealt with death or even hard times it really helped having a nurse that seems that they genuinely care and feel for you. I will remember this moment in the book when starting my nursing career because I want to be the type of nurse that the patient and their family feels that they can utilize for support.

Question Two

            While working in the medical field you are going to encounter many difficult patients. When that happens to you in your nursing experience is important to remain calm and maintain respect and empathy for that patient. Theresa Brown is often critical of her actions as a novice nurse, but there were a few times where she did not catch herself when she was acting poorly or could have been acting better. In chapter 10, Access, she was dealing with a difficult cancer patient named David. On page 154 she explained that when David went down for surgery she turned to another nurse and stated, “’do you think if I asked they would keep him down there longer?’” I question her decision to say that to a nearby nurse because it would have been bad if anyone heard her. If a patient had heard her then they may feel uncomfortable or unsafe thinking that their care takers are talking bad about them. She could have also gotten in trouble if someone higher up heard her saying that about a patient in the middle of the floor. If I was in her situation dealing with David, no matter how frustrated I was I would try really hard to keep that to myself. I would try to keep in mind that it is a person going through a traumatic process and not everyone is expected to be good sports about it, everyone handles their situations differently.  

Question Five

            Theresa Brown relates the following poem by Frank Bidart to a career in nursing: “I hate and love. Ignorant fish, who even wants the fly while writhing.” I feel as though I could understand someone who says that they hate and love their career in nursing, but it is still scary to read about. With nursing comes a roller coaster of emotions and feelings during every situation. For example, one aspect of nursing is end of life care, as a nurse in that situation you may love having the opportunity to care for that patient, to be their supporter, and to make sure they are as comfortable as possible. At the same time, you may also hate the fact that there is nothing you can do to help that patient get better as well as having to deal with the stress, sadness, and possible anger of the family members being projected onto you.

            Having to balance many responsibilities is another aspect of nursing that is inevitable. Theresa talks a lot about being pulled in many places at once and although she loves what she is doing, she hates the fact that she cannot be in all of those places at one time. That is something I understand is inevitable and is definitely going to be something I will have to get used to. Thinking about these situations allows me to see both sides of the hate and love when it comes to nursing. I feel as though loving nursing will be way more powerful though!